


Steamed Hams

by Atakamae



Category: Love Live! Sunshine!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-25 15:29:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14381577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Atakamae/pseuds/Atakamae
Summary: Clearly a parody of "Steamed Hams"





	Steamed Hams

The doorbell rang. Chika quickly opened the door for her expected guest.

"Well Chika, I made it. Despite your directions." Dia let out a little sigh.

"Ah, Student President Kurosawa~! Welcome! I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon!" Chika smiled brightly wearing her tangerine colored apron. Dia let out a small groan and followed Chika into the dining room. As Dia took a seat, Chika went ahead to see how her meal was coming along. To Chika's utter dismay, smoke was coming from the oven, she quickly went to check on it.

"Egods! My Szechwan Spicy Tangerine Chicken is ruined!" Chika looked out of her window, spotting the newly opened WcDonald's in her town. She pondered to herself for a moment.   
  


"But what if..I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking..?" Chika chuckled to herself. "Delightfully devilish, Chika-chi!" She opened the window and started to climb out when Dia entered the kitchen. 

"CHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA." Dia yelled. 

"Student President! I was just uh, stretching my calves on the window seal! Great exercise for idols! Care to join me?"

Dia looked unimpressed and glared at Chika. "Why is there smoke coming out of oven, Chika?"

"Uh, oh! That isn't smoke! It's steam! Steam from the steam clams we're having! Kanan gave them to me! Mmm! Steam clams!" Chika nervously rubbed her own stomach. 

Dia glared once more, and returned to the dining area. Chika let out a sigh, and exited through the window, running furiously towards the WcDonald's.

 

A few minutes pass, and Chika returned to Dia with a huge platter of hamburgers. "Student President, I hope you're ready for mouth watering hamburgers!"

Dia stared at the burgers. "I thought we were having steamed clams?"

"D'oh, no! I said steam hams! That's what I call hamburgers."

"You call hamburgers 'steamed hams'?"

"Yes, It's a regional dialect!"

"Aha..What region?"

"Uh..Kanagawa."

"Really..? A few members of the council are from Yamakita and I never heard them referring to burgers as 'steamed hams'".

"Oh uh, not in Yamakita. No, It's an Yokohama expression!"

"I see.." Dia took a bite of the burger.

Dia chews for a bit, and starts inspecting the burger. "You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have in WcDonalds."

Chika started laughing. "Ohoho, no! Patent Takami burgers! Old- Family recipe!'

Dia glared at Chika for the millionth time this afternoon. "For steamed hams?"

"Yes!"

"Yes, and you call them steam hams despite the fact they are obviously grilled?"

Chika's smile becomes more and more forced. "Y-eh, You know the-, One thing I should-, excuse me for one second."

"Of course."

Chika quickly retreats to the kitchen, which at this point has been completely inflamed due to the negligence of Chika. She returns to Dia in the dining area.

She takes a big, deep, exaggerated yawn, raising both of her arms. "Well, that was wonderful! Good times had by all, I'm pooped!"

"Yes I should be g- GOOD LORD, WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE?" Dia points at the kitchen, which is giving off a red color.

Chika quickly fully closes the door. "Aurora borealis."

Dia's expression turned sour. "Uh-Aurora Borealis? AT THIS TIME OF YEAR? AT THIS TIME OF DAY? IN THIS PART OF THE COUNTRY, LOCALIZED ENTIRELY WITHIN YOUR KITCHEN?"

Chika smiled brightly. "Yes!"

Dia stared at her. "May I see it?"

"Uh..No."

Chika soon walks Dia out to the door. 

"CHIKA! THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!" Shima yelled out of her room,

"No, Shima, It's just the northern lights!" Chika responded.

Dia stood up straight, glaring Chika down. "Well, Chika. You are an odd girl, but I must say..you steam a good ham." For the first time this evening, Dia smiled. Chika smiled back.

Dia started walking out to the street, and looked back at Chika.

"HELLPPP! HELPPP!" Shima yelled, as Chika gave a reassuring smile and thumbs up.

\-------------------

Ruby, Hanamaru, and Yoshiko talked and drank their teas in the nearest cafe as a firetruck rushed towards Chika's house.

 


End file.
